Thursday, October 6, 2011

The Verdict!

Today the verdict of the 'Suo moto' action taken by the supreme court of Pakistan on Karchi was announced. This 'historic' verdict is going to change the dynamics of this country for good. Never in the history of Pakistan has a verdict been so direct and to the point. Here are the salient features of this 'historic' judgement:

1) "Sab chor hain": The first groundbreaking revelation was made that all political and religious parties take extortion money. This is something that has never been said before and the mere fact the honorable court highlighted it out justifies the time they took to conduct the whole hearing. "Two thumbs up"

2) "Karachi should be de weaponized": Clapping everyone. Stand up and admire. Wow just wow. How could the honorable judges be so smart and make this conclusion that the whole nation so miserably failed to do so. Brilliant 'order' by the court, I must say.

3) "Islam is a religion of peace": Another vuvuzela by the apex court. This one is for the jews and the thirsty crows out there. Now they know what was to be known. The unsaid has been said. The silence is broken and the inevitable is out i.e Islam is a religion of peace.

4) "Violence is having a bad impact on economy": I now know why I could never be a lawyer. Quite simply because I can never become a judge. I have to admit his kind of a thing i can't seriously have even dreamt of. I mean linking violence with economy is an act of a genius. No wonder Steve Jobs died today.

5) "Zulfiqar Mirza might be right but you prove it": I don't think the judiciary sympathizes with anyone but this really is a rare case isn't it? I mean after MQM joined the goverenment again last night for the umpteenth time every person with some heart spared a thought for poor old Zulfi Mirza, who risked it all against MQM and got a humble pie for his efforts.

6) "NO NO GO AREAS" Behold as men become legends must have been the cry before this was read out. Another swashbuckling judgement that karachi should be free of no go areas. So everybody should be able to go everywhere. No comment however was made on the no entry policy for single males in certain shopping malls and cinemas who call themselves open for "families only".

7) "Make a committee" Well we know how these go usually don't we? But this is going to be different since the CJP himself will conduct a monthly review meeting and if this 'historic' decision is not being implemented then they will...................I guess ask them to implement.

8) "Government should provide peace" Now its becoming a bit of an artizan product. I don't know what artizan means but this is Da vinci stuff. Thinking and communicating stuff like this is beyond imagination. I mean who would have known that ensuring peace and public safety is the responsibility of the government? Kudos to CJP and co again.

9) "Life of the human being is very precious" Again its orgasmic. My life is precious. Your life is precious. Hooolaaaaa. Somebody finally thinks so. Great to know that, somebody with some authority agrees . Tonight ill sleep well.

10) "For details read 156 pages" Luckily for J.K Rowling, harry potter is finished. Otherwise there would have been a tug of war between her books and this 'historic verdict', as to who becomes the bestseller. Remember, Law never loses.

PS: Within four hours of this 'historic verdict' six people have been killed in karachi in target killings. 'Ludi hey jamalo pao ludi hey jamalo ludi hey jamalo pao ludi hey jamalo'

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